If I Could Turn Back Time
by Eureka234
Summary: This is basically a smutfic between Okabe and Kurisu, so read at your own risk!


_Authors notes:_ So, yeah, this is pretty much a Steins;gate smutfic. I don't own anything Steins;gate, please support the official release by Funimation. (c) If you like smutfics I hope this is to your liking! :-)

* * *

I had confessed my love for a dear lady, and the silence was torturous.

Miss Kurisu was staring back at me with big eyes. We were in that same room where we confessed our love. It was like repeating history, another world line. The only difference was it wasn't raining outside. Yet the curtains were closed and a grim, murky aura penetrated its molecular structure. A distinct flavour of dust clung to the floor and walls. Dull shadows removed a lot of the emotion from our faces. It was comforting in the most conspicuous way.

"How do you feel about me?" I asked, heart pounding. Kurisu blushed.

"Close your eyes"

I followed her command, praying that, for once, this world line would unfold events the same way the other one did. My lips quivered as she pressed her cold, tiny lips against mine.

_Please. I don't want it to stop. _

I opened my eyes, half broken, half expectant. It was too much. Kurisu's innocent stare contorted. Her eyebrows furrowed.

"What's that look for?"

_I could play the romantic route like last time,_ I considered, _but would that lead to the best outcome? _

"Oh Miss, Kurisu. It's clear you've never kissed anyone before"

"How dare you!" Kurisu retorted "What makes you say that?"

"You're so nervous" I grinned "Why, if you had any experience you would be making me beg for more"

Kurisu almost spat in my face.

"Are you disgusting or what?" She span around "Thanks for being a jerk. I'm leaving"

_No, it's not working… think of something else, quick!_

I cleared my throat.

"I'm sorry Kurisu. I didn't mean to offend you. I am just trying to be charming"

"HA! Charming? Where do you get your ideas? Daru?"

I smiled shrewdly.

"Only when I dream about you"

Kurisu gave a half-hearted laugh which turned into florescent blushing. She pulled her gaze away from me.

"Please. If your dreams were even half as romantic as mine we'd have something to talk about"

My jaw dropped. I got a sudden vision of Kurisu as a geisha, gorgeous and evasive, fluttering her eyelashes. She would have the most wonderful outfit, such grace and poise. She was the very epitome of sneaky.

I took a step towards her. She likes romantic things. I know that much now. Hmm, what was that movie I saw?

I slowly moved closer to her face. My cheek brushed hers as my nose pointed beyond her ear. I left her breathing for a moment. She was too taken aback to speak. We were millimeters away, the fibers of our clothing barely crossing.

"When I dream about you, darling… I wish I'd never have to wake up again"

"Oh…" Kurisu surprise was broken up into a strange mangled sound.

What was that? Unable to resist temptation?

I leant back to look into her eyes, very close to her face. Kurisu's face was red. Her eyes were watering. She gulped.

"I, uh… You b-better not be joking, Okabe!"

I chuckled.

"Is this the face of a joker?" I asked, lowering my voice again "sweet, wonderous Kurisu?"

Kurisu looked scared.

"I hope not!" she barked.

I grinned. She was so easy to confuse. Not that I was trying to manipulate her, oh no…. well, I guess I was. It was for her benefit as well as mine. If I could figure out how she felt it might aid my resolve.

"What do you want from me?" Kurisu asked, clearly feeling intimidated by my change in character. I grinned.

"More importantly, what do _you_ want from _me_?" I asked. I bent down on one knee and bowed. We were now eye level. "I'm at your command, princess"

By the blushing Kurisu was certainly feeling something different and unidentifiable.

"You think you're so chummy, don't you?" she kept a stony demeanour "What if I just… I dunno… walked out the door?"

"Dear, if you offend me like this…. Who knows if I'll feel secure enough to present this offer to you again"

I smiled playfully, and Kurisu crumbled under the spell. Joking or not, she had to follow along for the benefit of the doubt. She hesitated, and then locked the door.

"You know, I've always been curious what you look like underneath that lab coat of yours" she said, a malicious gleam in her eye. "If you're so serious, take it off"

My heart pounded.

No one has ever requested such a thing from me! Except for that time I shall not mention. Now I was the one with heat in my face.

"I, uh… of course, m-my dear"

I turned around, and, fingers trembling, took off my jacket. I felt more skeletal than usual with just a shirt and pants. I turned around.

"Are you sure you want to look?" I asked. Kurisu nodded, satisfied.

"Of course I do. Turn around"

I did, covering myself with my arms. I had never felt so naked in front of someone while wearing clothes!

Kurisu laughed.

"You're pathetic, Okabe. C'mon, take away your arms"

I did, crying dreadful tears inside.

"Do you enjoy this humiliation?" I asked.

Kurisu smiled "Yes, actually"

"Wh-what else would you like me to do?" I asked.

Kurisu paced the room and put a finger to her chin.

"I thought of something, but I dunno… It's probably too much for you"

"C'mon, Kurisu, I managed this, I think I can take it. I will for you"

"Hmmm" Kurisu 's smile faltered "May I… take off your shirt?"

_Badam badam badam. _

"K-K- Kurisu" I mouthed, stupefied. Words failed me. Kurisu's expression changed from one of silliness to deliberate intent. She slowly paced towards me. I spotted a deep longing in her eyes, a desire on her tainted, cherry lips. How could I refuse?

"I think it's only fair I can request something of you next, yes?" I asked.

Kurisu shook her head. She got down onto all fours and crawled the meter towards me, tie dragging along the floor.

"What if I can't?" she whispered. Her nose brushed mine and she gave a long, slow kiss on my cheek. It was gentle like a cloud. She breathed cold air deliberately down my neck and kissed me again.

"Okabe?" she murmured, and she grabbed hold of my shirt. Mystified and ashamedly aroused, I took hold of her arms.

"Hey, that's against the rules" Kurisu protested. I raised an eyebrow.

"You're not getting away that easy, princess"

Before I could fulfil her request, I leant into her face and kissed her on the mouth. This time, I let my inhibition go. Cautiously, I poked my tongue inside and she welcomed it ever so gently. Forgetting etiquette, slow kisses sped up into passionate thrashing. Her mouth was warm on the inside, but cold on the outside- such a daring contrast. Her tongue was cool but enticing. She tried to pull on my shirt, but I kept my arm steady. She wasn't doing anything. Not yet.

Coming to my senses, I pulled away. We breathed heavily, sweating. I leant towards her ear again.

"Are you okay with where this is going, Kurisu?" I asked, sincerely. I could smell her unique bodily odour on her shirt. Kurisu paused, squeezed on my shirt and nodded.

"I am if you are"

"I've never been more overjoyed in my life" I said. "Well, we should have a safe word, darling. What do you say?"

"I vote you don't pick it"

"Darn"

"… How about death?"

"That's morbid, sweet cheeks. What about 'sunshine'?"

"Fine, sunshine will do. If we say it for now on, it counts, yeah?"

"Absolutely" I kept tight to Kurisu's arm "Where were we?"

Kurisu tugged on my shirt.

I looked deep into her eyes.

"You don't really want to see me without a shirt, do you?"

"I could ask the same to you" Kurisu shrugged "I won't judge you"

"Neither will I"

"Good"

Kurisu gave my shirt another tug. I gently let go of Kurisu's arm, and she slowly lifted my shirt up above my head. I shivered, as cold washed over me. Kurisu threw my shirt to the side, and she looked me up and down. I tried to cover myself. My skin was bony, pale and unsightly.

"Hey, scrawny" she smiled "You don't need to hide"

"I think I do" I protested. Kurisu giggled.

"Nah"

She leant forward and kissed me. She ran a hand through my hair. I tried to forget I was wearing nothing. Kurisu's kisses became wetter, more daring. My mouth was sopping in thick saliva. With a jolt of the heart I felt her warm chest press against mine. It was a comforting, yet exhilarating gesture. I almost ran out of breath.

"My dear Kurisu" I murmured awed, between kisses "I can just imagine how beautiful you must be underneath tha…."

More kisses. Kurisu's hand ran down from my hair, the back of my neck, my bony spine and around to my belt. I grabbed her hand and moved it upwards.

"Sorry" she murmured.

"That's quite alright, Clarissa"

Slow down the kisses. Keep them wet and longing. Yes, like that. How wonderful she was. I gently ran my hand along her collarbone, unsure of whether to go further. To my surprise, Kurisu grabbed my hand and gently pressed it against one of her breasts.

Oh my god.

I was too overwhelmed with absolute lust for Miss Kurisu to hold back my gentlemanly like manner. I groaned. Kurisu pushed me backward. With little to stop me, I fell right onto my back.

"ARGh! It's cold."

"Wuss"

Kurisu was too caught up in her desire to hold up conversation. She crawled over me, and pulled down part of her blouse with a finger, exposing a deep violet bra. I probably looked scared. She let go.

"Do you want me, Okabe?" she asked- a hint of sassiness in her voice. She was enjoying teasing me. She bent down and pressed her nose to mine.

"Wh-what's the right answer?" I asked, cautiously. Kurisu laughed. She let her weight fall down onto me. That was the breaking point. I could feel her underwear from beneath her skirt pressing against my hips. My physiology was completely prepared to go all the way, beyond all my mental capacity and logic. Kurisu blushed. Oh, we were lucky virgins. Is this how these things usually go?

"Y-you're …" I stuttered, but I had the worst mental blank in the universe.

Kurisu sat up and attempted to rub her underwear against me. She was so soft. I must feel so hard to her. How girls find pleasure in sitting on something akin to machinery is a mystery. Hormones. Chemicals. Illogical impulses. Her breathing became heavy.

"Am I weirding you out?" she asked.

"Not any more than I weird myself out" I took a deep breath "I, uh…"

How could I even begin to explain what I wanted to say?

"What do you want?" Kurisu asked. She leant down to me, pressing her breasts against my chest. She took one of my hands and gently pressed my fingers against her lips. Slightly terrified of how this would make my mental capacity worse, I pushed two of my fingers into her mouth. She began to hesitantly suck them. I groaned.

"Kurisu!" I moaned, squirming against her curvy body "I… you're so…"

"Irresistible?"

"Yes, that"

"Sexy?"

"Of course"

"What do you want?"

"I…uh…"

Sweat dripped down my face, salty and hot. I pushed my hips up against her and tried to pleasure myself through her. Kurisu's breathing became almost high pitched.

"O-okabe?" she asked.

"Yes, my dear?"

"Please" she begged.

"Please what?"

Kurisu bit her lip. Her face was red. She grabbed my hand, and put it to her breast again.

"Take it off" she said simply. Kurisu tried to pull my arm up, but it didn't really work.

I looked into her eyes. Is this really what she wanted? None of us had said the safe word, one could assume It was fine. Kurisu's eyes were watering out of desperation. She nodded.

I stopped what I was doing and slowly pulled Kirisu's shirt off. I almost wanted to vomit because the emotions were so intense. Her stomach folds which perfectly creased her inward belly button were charming and adorable. The curves of her backside were equally gorgeous. Smooth. Round. Her breasts were equally shapely. They were engulfed in a rich violet bra. It was casual fare, but still wonderful. Before Kurisu could utter a word she bent down and kissed me. She lifted her hips off me, and motioned my saliva covered hand towards her underwear. I gasped between the kisses. She gently pressed upwards, and guided my fingers in a slow, rocking motion. When I took over, she let go.

"Hey, Okabe" she asked, quite seriously.

"Y-yes? Dearest Kurisu?"

"Um…" she blushed again "Do you want to try going all the way?"

A fire erupted inside, one that could only be quenched by the taste of her tender skin. Gorgeous wet innards of joy.

"Is that viable right now?" I asked. Kurisu nodded.

"I always come prepared for my experiments"

"You, my dear, are far cleverer than your appearance suggests"

She hit me "Shut up"

"Just say when" I said. I abandoned Kurisu's sweet underwear and pushed her onto her back. Kurisu laughed.

"You think you can handle me?"

"I think so."

I let my inner pervert loose. I ran kisses from her collarbone down to her breasts, kissed over her bra and went further down. I trailed one of my hands up her inner thigh and towards her underwear. Kissing her stomach, I repeated the action Kurisu had shown me. Slow, gentle rubs over her womanly district. Oh goodness. I could feel how damp they were through her underwear. There was a distinct patch, and it let off a unique scent. Honey. Nectar.

"Go faster" Kurisu whispered.

"As you wish, my lady"

"Uhh…." Her moans were beautiful. I could almost sense how badly she wanted me. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up, radiating with attentiveness. There was a particular tone to her voice. She pressed my hand closer to her, and I increased the pressure. Tired of listening to her commands alone, I grabbed hold of one of her hands, and I slowly replaced the other hand with my mouth. I kissed her through the fabric. Kurisu started to exclaim words of pleasure. Which words, you may ask? It would not do much good to write them. The important thing is they all brimmed with a desire so strong I could tell she had lost her mind. It was the temptation that was murderous. I knew better than anyone I had no idea what I was doing. We were pathetic virgins after all.

I lazily tried to poke my tongue around her underwear to touch her skin. Kurisu let out a sound akin to fake sobbing. She maneuverer her legs around so we could pull one section of her underwear free. She pulled my hair.

"Do what you were doing with your fingers" she said.

"Understood, ma'am"

I tried the best I could to muster the coordination, and as her wetness started to get over my nose I couldn't resist the sensations I had myself.

"I'm terribly sorry, my love, but I don't think I can resist you any longer"

Between strangled moans, Kurisu pointed to the corner of the room, where her handbag was sitting.

With a hurried interlude, I handed Kirisu her handbag and she rushed through at the speed of light. Surely enough she picked one of those small plastic monstrosities'.

"Will it fit?" she asked, holding it up.

"Only one way to find out"

I unbuckled my belt, and Kurisu sat up.

"Please let me"

She pulled off my belt and, as scared as I was, it was strangely relaxing to have her unbutton and unzip my pants.

"What do I do?" she asked, blushing slightly. I kissed her on the cheek.

"Don't worry, dear. We can go through that another time. Would you like to swap places?"

"Erm….. that would probably be best"

I wasn't dumb enough to assume that Kurisu would be able to take this if it was her first go. Hell, I'd be lucky if I didn't get overly excited and make a fool of my brilliant self. I lay down, blushing as Kurisu pulled off my pants. With my briefs, it took a gentle "Hey, I won't judge you, remember?" before I let her. As though choosing her as Queen, I let her put the condom on, all the while very self-conscious of the fact she couldn't stop staring.

"Erm, I apologize if my male anatomy is not up to your standard"

"Nah, that doesn't bother me. I just hope it doesn't hurt"

She positioned herself over me, and let herself down as to just feel the tip. I tried to position everything properly with one of my free hands.

"There's no hurry. What's important is no one gets hurt"

Kurisu smiled and let out a deep breath "Ok. Thank you"

It took a good part of five minutes, a deal of anxiety, bits of "Ouch", "Ow" and "That doesn't feel right" before everything was in the places it was supposed to be. Kurisu took in deep breaths. There was a hypnotizing flushed look about her face.

"How are you?" she asked.

"Never better… yourself?"

"I'm ready… almost"

I ran my hands over Kurisu 's gorgeous hips, her skirt, admiring her breasts covered by that bra. Kurisu slowly began to move back and forth. It took a bit of adjusting and then we hit the right spot. I let out a moan I couldn't withhold. Kurisu followed suit. Her breathing got faster, as we gradually increased the speed. My eyes rolled into my head. I laughed.

"My god, Kurisu, you've got a mighty good set of womanly weapons down there" I cackled. Kurisu chuckled.

"Yep. All the more for making you make embarrassing noises"

"I will never submit to your cruel plans"

"Want a bet?"

Kisses… too many kisses… the scent of her sweat, the feel of her warmth covering me… the heat, oh god, the heat… the tables had turned in more ways than one. Kurisu breathing was heavy, but she was able to keep a level head. She whispered profanities in my ear, making sure I didn't see the light of day. I am quite ashamed to admit I like her dirty talk.

There is a reason why we are never supposed to imagine others making love to each other. It strips you naked of more than just your clothes. Your mind, your desires…. The dirtiest tricks, and most disgusting of sounds… these things are designed to be shared with someone who loves you, someone who will not judge you, and someone who is willing to uncover those secrets. Kurisu was able to peel back my mad scientist façade to someone quite unskilled but unconventional. I noticed we had more in common than I realized. It seems we were on a similar wavelength when it came to these matters as well. Unlimited moans bounced off us like some absurd game of badminton. Limits and definitions erased from my vocabulary.

"Kurisu …" I groaned "I can't take this. I don't… want it to stop"

"What if I want you to take it?"

"I-I don't want to"

"Pathetic"

"Why? You're so cruel"

"You're the one who's the mad scientist"

I held her close to me, as I simultaneously tried to pound myself into her, yet, there was only so far you can go.

"K- Kurisu" I choked, as I began to shake all over. I could tell this scared her, despite her act of the confident temptress.

"Okabe?" she asked uncertainly, so quiet I almost couldn't hear.

I dare not try describing the sounds that escaped my lips at that moment. It could have disturbed a neighbourhood. Kurisu held onto me, so tight I thought my bones might snap. Colours flashed past my eyelids.

I collapsed in a rotten heap, like the deadest of corpses. My breathing was deep and profound. Kurisu lay down on top of me. I had a conviction her demands were not over, but she stayed there with me.

"I- I love you, Okabe' she said.

"And I, you, Kurisu" I sighed, "Thank you"


End file.
